What do you do for fun? Me, I have simple tastes: whiskey, whores, and violence. But not everyone has simple, down to earth tastes. Not everyone you care about enjoys the painted lips, the chocolate frosting, and the hollow point ammo, and that you appreciate. Some of the people on your gift list are connaisseurs of pleasure, and for them, it is schadenfreude that they appreciate. Now, for a simple man, such as myself, big words like schadenfreude have too many letters to be understood. It is better to experience the pleasures of schadenfreude. If you are shopping for a gift for a friend, relative, co-worker, or lover, then I suggest The Connaisseur of Schadenfreud Tours; they have an introductory offer this month: three days of schadenfreude at various Ontario Hospitals.
The Pain Manager. If you derive pleasure from people writhing in pain, then a Hospital in Ontario is the place to be. The official line is that pain meds are being abused (by individuals) so the sawbones profession is loath to hand them out (as a group). Which means that the degenerates of society get away with gaming the system, and the legitimate victims of disease get to suffer. On your Connaisseur of Schadenfreude tour you will see smirking welfare artists glassy eyed on opiates, and working people white knuckling their gurneys as they float on a bed of pain.
Mission Misdiagnosis. You do not have to have fun by writing down incorrect symptoms on a medical chart to have hospital fun anymore. Thanks to employment equity, the staff do that themselves. As employment equity incompetence never makes it to the media, you just do not know how bad it is, or where it is worst. Ha ha! Joke is on you! Er, joke is on the patient. Again, the welfare artists, with their advanced skill at playing the game of health care, have the advantage. You won't see a welfare parasite getting the wrong leg lopped off, or left unturned in their bed to get bed sores. You will see others suffer, though. Why not have a front row seat and enjoy The Connaisseur of Schadenfreude Tour and watch the painful agonies of misdiagnosis brought to you courtesy of white guilt hires of incompetents.
The inappropriate gift shop. The Connaisseur of Schadenfreud Tours always highlights the awful gifts available to the sick and suffering. As most everyone in Ontario has noticed, hospitals always have a funeral home just around the corner. It is creepy. Creepy like the idea that the liberal Dauphin is an intellect. I guess those who lust to whore after the trough figure the dim bulb will not shine light on their wallet stuffing. Anyway, once you drive past the funeral home and arrive at the hospital, you can do gift shop. What the suffering want is a cure, or at least suitable pain meds. That is not for sale in the gift shop. And you never see the welfare parasites there: they are too busy gaming the system.
Go laugh it up at human suffering. You should have access to the surveillance system, the system that is supposedly illegal. In the province where the activists have their sticky, white guilty fingers on the balance of justice you can expect the eyes to wink at indiscretion on the part of the favored groups, be they incompetent, shrill, or merely sexually depraved. There are cameras in hospitals. Cameras, they can move around. With a ladder, the ability to push aside a false ceiling panel, and some agility with wire strippers and a screwdriver, you can, er, someone can, move those cameras around. Of course, this never happens: the media would report it; there are no reports, so, using the logic of Global Warming science, it never happens. If it did, this would explain the supply of deviant videography on the deviant video market. Ask your tour operator. In a justice culture that winks its eyes at sex with children, a little pain and suffering is small potatoes.
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.