I keep checking the Red Star for balanced coverage of this domestic disturbance in Syria. They keep picking on Syria, and its democratically elected leader, Assad. I keep hoping to find a balanced view in the media. How about an interview with the Syrian ambassador? He must be easy enough to find, even for one of the technological illiterates called journalists. Isn't he in the phone book? Arrange an interview? How about the United Nations? Isn't Syria running the Human Rights Commission there? Doesn't Barb Hall have them on speed dial? Maybe at one of their evening Alinsky meetings Barb can pass over a message. Why does the main stream media hate Syria? They were good friends before.
Democratically elected. Look, I know I live in a racist shithole that cheats leftist voters of the representation they demand so their representatives and associated lard engine bureaucrats can demand entitlements for the leftist voters. You read about it often enough in the Red Star. I hate myself. Only looking at those tax numbers on my pay check makes me feel better. But I know Syria had democratic elections. The Red Star never denounced them the last few times, now did they? The Red Star is pretty consistent in denouncing electoral fraud, foreign or domestic. Did they denounce Syria? Nope. So, Assad is one of the good guys. Who are these anti-democratic scum that are rising up against his legitimate regime?
Israel is evil. It sure is. Even rabid anti-Semites (we used to call them Jew haters before they reflagged as anti-Israeli activists) all agree that Syria is a bulwark against the spread of the cancer of Zionism. Just talking about it reminds me of the walk in Herpes clinic downtown Toronto beside that bath house, the Squirts. Now Assad and his democratically elected regime is trying to contain evil Israel. Israel is bad. So why is the Red Star critical of this paragon of doing things the leftist way? Did they not get the memo of what to say from the Alinsky high command? Israel is bad and the evil Zionists hate Syria. So, we should be being told to like Syria. They are on the Human Rights Commission, which is above criticism, too.
Another Middle East War. All wars are bad. This Syria is a strong state and will not fall quietly to the one amphibious division the Americans have left. The carriers in the Eastern Med leak oil, which is bad for the environment and kills sea gulls. Why is the leftist, group thinking media pushing us towards an always unjust war? War is Bad, right, er, left. No blood for oil. How about give peace a chance. If Syria is such a meanie, then dialogue and peaceful negotiation should be called for. Why is the leftist press not doing this? They are doing a disservice to the peace loving people of Syria and their gentle, kind leader, Bashar al-Assad. It pisses me off. I am ashamed of the leftist media.
Russia is your friend. The poor oppressed Russians are sending their fleet to protect Syria from capitalist, zionist attack. The Jew bankers (where Jew refers to evil pro Israel Zionists, not the creamy good ones who want to return Jerusalem to Beelzebub, erect idols in the Holy of Holies, and worship Astarte where Jehovah was before) and the scum capitalists want to invade Syria. Their motives are always evil: they want to grow opium in the hills and sell it at black market prices to abortion clinics who cannot afford it. The rich just keep getting richer: but why is the Red Star running with the swine of Zion, the war pigs, and the corrupt capitalists? The Russians were always our friends during the last few decades; everything they did was right, er, left. From Stalin to Beria, a living Russian leader was someone to practice anilingus on. What happened? The Russians are sending their fleet; the Red Star should be supporting Syria, their peaceful people, and their gentle leader, Assad. I think the media has sold out to the racists, rapists, and meat eating killers of dolphins. It makes me angry.
All in all, the Canadian press owes Syria an apology. And reparations. All that blood is on their hands. Those people would not be rebelling unless they were encouraged by foreign powers overseas. Probably Jews spreading around lies and money, duping the honest, hard working Arab proletariat. And the CIA, too. Probably the RCMP dirty tricks squad. And Conservative MP's from Alberta in some sort of arms to gangbangers for money for suppression of the Wheat Board in favor of blood sucking capitalists. All under the direction sof some spider, some hook nosed spider in Jerusalem. I blame the Red Star. They sold out Trotsky. I am starting to cry.
Fight back. Today, Sunday, I am holding a bake sale. All the profits are going to the Syrian regime. In the weeks to come, in the evening when you are sitting down to eat, or going into your toilet to take a dump, or when you have a quiet moment to copulate with your spouse, my telemarketers will be calling to raise money for charity. They may say they are calling for the homeless, the drunkards livers foundation, or the prison guards association, but they are just saying that. Every telemarketing call for you this week is to raise money for arms and equipment * for Syria. Please give generously. As for the Red Star, that Jew mouthpiece, I can only hope that the asbestos in their air ducts works a little faster than it is currently working. Sell out scum. I hope they die more slowly than they are now. I hate them, they are filled with hate for the leftist program.
Long live the peaceful people of Syria, and long rule their wise and kind leader, Bashar al-Assad. They and he were always OK in the past, so they must be OK now. Slow, lingering death to their opponents!
Long live the Revolution, Comrades!
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.